You decide to buy the island. Greece might appreciate that, and it worked for Richard. Instead of Be a Virgin, our motto will be Be Blonde. You chuckle.
You decide to trademark ‘Be Blonde’ like ‘Be Bold’ – didn’t work for Melania, but you think you can do it, because you are British, and this presumptive close stuff has worked for like hundreds of years. Before they figure out the DCF of KEA, and the fact that you can’t trademark Be Blonde, well, it’ll be in common usage. Launch an NFT you think. Yes, this will get you the much-coveted Lunch with the FT profile.
Like the marbles, they are just gone. Create facts. They are ours; they are not yours. Not they are no longer yours. They are just ours. Don’t ask for permission. Transfer the funds to buy KEA, and it won’t take the full $1 bn. The North Angelesy Pension Fund will come up with more because it will like PUT THEM ON THE MAP. I mean imagine the headline. In a reversal of fortune, not correlated to the Trillion Sterling loss in Bitcoin, North Angelesy buys Kea, Greece. Details To Follow. Ace, Joe, just Ace mate. Twinning Islands, mate. Unbelievable.
You pour yourself another one. You are on Ouzo now. Follow the Entrepreneur, my ass. Follow the Ouzo.
You like Elisabeth II a lot, but that was her problem. No disrespect but too much compassion. Too much honor. Forebearers like just took over stuff – continents, palaces, islands. Presumptive Close – always works. Bring Britain Back. Bring Greece Back. She was too nice.
You remember that Phillip the Greek was great, and well he was Greek. He was pretty much the best of the best of them, so you decide to liberally use this reference to ingratiate yourself into the Greeks at KEANAISSANCE. I am British; our monarch was Greek. It’s close; they won’t notice the nuance. It’s better than German.
You are early for KEANAISSANCE, so have checked into the AIGIS Suites; https://www.aigisuites.com/ – You saw a post on the Blonde’s Facebook page where she was looking particularly fetching at the AIGIS, and you think she might come here for cocktails or something. Might be there early.
There are frogs everywhere. This place is infested with French people. How did this happen? I can literally hear only Parisian French, and there are flat-chested Parisian middle aged women with children everywhere. This is not working for me, and this was a mistake. You think to go down to Voukari Harbour later, and hang out by the yachts. Might buy one. Expense it. You make a note to see whether you can get a yacht to come with the island if you buy KEA. Or you can play with the whole idea like Musk is doing with Twitter. It was clear he never wanted to buy Twitter. He just wants to be like THE GUY. He wanted to expose the bots, and make it impossible to ban him.
And me too. I started out as a lawyer, but I am a fund manager now with $1 bn AUM. I sort of think of myself as the Godfather, not Tom Hagen –
“A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns.” ―Vito Corleone. True true. You chuckle.
This is a freaking insane sunset. The Blonde was right. This is insane. You make a note that when you get the girl, any girl, you are going to bring her to Kea. You check Tinder and realise that you need to update your photo, and you think of ZEN KATZ and think that a photo like that would get a Blonde that you can then bring to KEA. That’s the loop. Zen Photo, Tinder, FB post, get the girl, bring her to Kea, which will be your island by that time.
You download the Keanaissance Guidebook from last year. You see John Porter photos. Seems like the Blonde was close to him. You see he is Chairman Emeritus of VIVA Investment Partners. She clearly reveres him. #RememberJohnPorter. You read the post on her LinkedIn page about him. You make a note to get to the bottom of this. There’s clearly a story in this. You heard he was smart as they come. You make a note to ask Scott about him.
You look at the Keanaissance Youtube Channel from Edition 1 – give me a break. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4GN-XUZonVg7rKfaoZIelg This is like so pompous. Edition1. Like Davos 50. Bilderberg 70. She’s got the ego of a man this one. The ego of a man. Male Energy. Bet she’s an only child. OK – a weird blend of Euro entrepreneurs who have built businesses and tech investors. No pension fund guys like me. No one from North Angelsey – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglesey
You throw the fourth Ouzo back and realise you don’t need to buy KEA. You are going to issue a Promissory Note. Yes, a Promissory Note. Something reasonable. We’re British after all, why send money when you can PROMISE to send money. You chuckle. The Promissory Note will have Default Conditions and Remedies whereby if payments are not made on the principal and interest, then the island is transferred. You learned this little game of creating contracts which fail which is like never ever caught, I mean taught. You make a note to not share the details of how you do this to anyone at KEANAISSANCE. No scrutiny. You thank Mum that you got the DNA which makes you look well … boring. You’ve got this look of probity to you – you are British Fund Manager. BFM. When you smile, you can get anyone to do anything. Everyone is going to give you the BENEFIT of the DOUBT. If you were BLONDE, NACIH.
You will use Bikini Atoll for the intermediary companies to catch the flow for sure. You make a note to check the Marshall Islands jurisdiction compatibility with Greece.
Third Island – North Angelsey, Kea, Marshall Islands … Ace, mate, Ace.
Little $20 m Professional Services fee. No disclosure through MI. You chuckle. This is good.
You watch a couple more videos of the Keanaissance speakers from last year. The problem with the Blonde is that she cares. She actually cares about these entrepreneurs and building the future. Not a ruse. You can see it in her gaze. She’s earnest about this. You feel like saying to her: it is a rigged game, Blondy. Think you can change the world, babe. Well you can’t. This EntrepreneurCountry crap she’s talking about… Either she’s an idealist, naïve, or living on another planet. You make a note to ask all of the people at KEANAISSANCE whether the Blonde is Naive or an Idealist or living on another planet. Or maybe just Scott. You’ll ask Scott.
You are patting yourself big time on the back now. You are *so damn clever.* You buy a €1500 ticket to Keanaissance and you come up with a plan to buy the island for a Promissory Note for less than $1 bn that will fail and you will take over the island with them feeling good about it. Just incredible. Bring Britain Back. Be Blonde. Back to the Future. The important thing is to exit stage left when they are looking right. You wonder what the situation of the Pension Fund industry is in Greece. You ask yourself whether like you could get Taiping Insurance or something like that to do a roll-up of the Greek Pension Funds. Maybe lend something to get it going. You make a note that this would certainly be worth like a $20 m professional services fee to manage this one. Bikini Atoll. You make a note to go back to the same guy you worked within OZ. Liquidators still haven’t figured out what you did in OZ with Taiping.
You are getting ahead of yourself. You came to Kea for the investment opportunities. You make a note about this Smart Island Challenge: https://keanaissance.com/smart-islands-challenge/ Circular Economy stuff. Right ok. Energy, Batteries, Waste to Fuel. Wait, what’s this? A list of the Smart Island Challenges. Right ok. A little bit of thinking has gone into this. You make a note that if you buy the island, or if you own it, you have the right to improve it or not. You decide that you like the idea of being the Beneficial Owner of an Island in the Mediterranean that you improve. That suits you. It’s like Monopoly, you buy the property, you put the hotels on it. You go to jail, and you collect while you’re in prison. Always worked for me as a kid. You collect.
You count the days to KEANAISSANCE. You decide to become Mr. Kea. Tomorrow you decide to take a tour of the island, and check out the One & Only Kea. You decide to send the Smart Island Challenge to your son who is a civil engineer and ask him whether it’s hopeless.
You haven’t seen the Blonde. But you are looking forward to setting eyes on Ms Kea. You note that Ioulia is the Capital City of Kea. And you wonder whether… nah… couldn’t be… NACIH